long time no see

so much to say. I haven't posted in a while. not that it really matters.

I passed all my exams and have done well. I got an A+ and 2 B's and a C+ rather happy with my marks

I had a great summer. i worked 11 weeks and got my work experience signed off. met lots of interesting people and boiled to death.

My family moved 2 hours from where I grew up. It may not seem like far but in little old NZ its a very long distance.

I am back in windy Palmerston North and am starting to fall back into routine.

School is great so far. I have had 1 week of lectures. And Im officially a second year student :)

not really much else to say. not much else has happened. welcome to my boring life

Afraid?

I wish that I wasn't so afraid of things.

for example: I am scared of heights, I'm scared of spiders. I hate chalk and chalk boards so much it can be classified as a fear. silly thinks to be afraid of right? but i can't help it but it would make life easier if I wasn't

But at the moment... I wish I wasn't afraid to be me. To show the world who I really am. Maybe its because I don't know who I am that I am afraid of it. or maybe I do but I'm scared of everyone's reaction. I wish I had the courage to stand up for myself. I really wish that for all my silliness of calling myself amazing... that I actually believed it. 

My fear is rooted in my past. things that happened in primary school and high school. I thought I had moved on. but apparently not. I feel like I have to live up to someone's expectations. Mostly my parents expectations. I know they love me for who I am... but I know that they are disappointed in me. 

I wish that I was able to live up to the expectations. but I am not perfect. I have never pretended to be... but for some reason... people still think I should be. 

I am sick of everyone expecting me to be someone I am not. Expecting me to know what is going on all the time. and yet when I am wrong or lost or slightly confused... people mock me and call me stupid and other stuff

maybe my fear is of people and peoples opinions. all in all I guess what I am trying to say is... Be nice, Be careful what you say and do. little things could trigger someone off at the slightest push. I mean look at me.... 

exams, life and other random stuff

its exam season here at the moment. i have had 3 out of my 4 exams already. i am totally sick of studying and being stuck indoors slaving over notes and past tests and everything else that comes along with them.

it was nice weather this week at points and so we lay in the sun and studied. i got sun burnt on ONE side of my body... and so im going to have a pretty funny tan line :)

I also now have a place to stay next year. FINALLY! its a nice 3 bedroom place with two teaching students. its in a nice neighborhood and has a REALLY nice kitchen. and we have a trampoline which is pretty awesome :)

i cant believe how fast this year has gone. its hard to believe i have been at uni for 2 semesters and i have almost completed my first year. i have a job lined up for the summer which should be great fun.

BOOKS

I love books. I just finished a reading a new book. I bought it yesterday. Its called Crewel by Gennifer Albin. I almost gave up on it about 10 chapters in because it was such a complex storyline. With my dyslexia it makes reading complex things very hard. But I persevered. It took me about 5 and a half hours to read the 23 chapter book. It was a brilliant story of a girl's use of her talents and how she aims to protect her family and those she loves. Romance, Betrayal, Sarcasm, Battle of the Wits and multiple other factors came into play.
The characters were very well built and its very easy to pick sides. The set up of the characters reminds me a bit of the Hunger Games (By Suzanne Collins for those who dont know) with the main character striving to protect her younger sister. It  became easy to side with the main characters and you begin to grasp the futuristic community and its flaws which the main characters seek to show.

The only let down... It was written to have a sequel... and it was released at the start of this month. Which means I have to wait for ages for the next book :/ that has got to be the one frustration when finding a good book. is when it has sequels... and you have to wait for the next one.

long time, no post

Hello world.

long time no post.

The past few weeks have had ups and downs. I'm still chugging along quite nicely though.

Lets see. last week my family came down to visit me. It was a nice week and I had lots of fun. The weather has been a bit random it rained most of the week and today it is stunning. lovely and sunny. i hope it is like this tomorrow.

I am having a few friend problems but hopefully they will pass over because I seem to have done something and I don't know what. But hey I have other friends who are helping me through it so hopefully it will all work out.

I have 2 weeks of lectures left for the year so I'm excited for the summer months and working.

I'm finally getting somewhere with my life.

have a brilliant week and remember to keep smiling

Jeans

I went shopping for jeans on the weekend as mine were falling apart. I decided to go with a couple of friends. It was a fun shopping trip and i ended up coming home with 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of shorts. I did feel short because the jeans were actually 3/4 jeans and they are too long on me... but it saves me having to hem them. :) The other thing is that the jeans are purple and orange... a very bright orange and the short are yellow 

The lighting is kinda bad but the orange ones are kinda a highlighter orange and the purple are lilac. 

I wore the purple one yesterday with mixed comments... some people like them others didn't. I made some of my friends days cause they thought they were so amusing. I think the worse one was that one girl (who i knew) actually pointed and laughed. I was surprised at the fact that I didn't care. Yes it hurt a little but I finally don't mind what other people think.

I'm wearing the orange ones today and cant wait to see the reactions I get :) Life is to short not to live it up a little. 

"Live the life you love, love the life you live" (no idea who said it, a girl in the gym had it tattooed on her arm)

change

One person cannot change the world alone. 

But one person can change their own lives. 

They can make one small difference in one other person’s life. 

And if that person goes on to make a difference in one other person’s life and this chain keeps going then eventually the world will change bit by bit. 

So in essence one person cannot change the world alone but their actions may. 

change is not a bad thing. It is something that needs to be embraced. Change means our lives are moving forward. So live in today and worry about the future only in your spare time. because change will happen no matter what and there is nothing you can do to stop it. So don't worry even if the change seems bad everything will work out fine in the end because somethings take time and pressure. and without change sand would never become pearls and coal would never become diamonds. Everything has to undergo some form of change if they want to progress.

So remember one small thing... a smile, just saying hello... can mean the world to a stranger. restore faith in humanity and live for something... Anything :) even if it is your dog or a plant. there is someone or something that needs you. 

Live life, love life.